A Reason to Wake Up Pt. 02

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Josie suggested we reschedule. Although I wasn’t upset and was to some degree relieved I asked her why.

She had silenced my call sending me to a voicemail that hadn’t been set up. She preferred texting.

“I got my period this morning, which sucks, but I guess probably doesn’t suck at all since you insisted on coming inside of me repeatedly.”

I didn’t know how to respond. “Sorry.” I sent her then a second message. “We could still get lunch.”

“A blow job in the car? It’s a little hot.” She sent back.

“No. I just mean lunch. Burgers. I like that place down there that looks like a barn.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” I hadn’t exactly really meant it but now I liked the idea. She could see how really old I was. She could lose whatever bizarre interest she had in me. I could get rid of the temptation she presented by sitting across from her over greasy cheeseburgers. Instead we sat and talked politics and government and I was reminded how much I had enjoyed those classes. By the time we had finished eating she had been taking notes she planned to incorporate into her paper. I told her I wanted a citation. She said she liked that idea and took my business card. I kissed her in a fatherly way when I walked her to her car. She kissed me back far differently and offered to go ahead and give me head in the car even if it was hot. I smiled, declined and went on my way.

I hated that I was looking forward to seeing her again and hated even more how I dressed to take my wife to dinner frustrated because I hadn’t heard from her. When Anne and I arrived at our favorite Italian place Marty and Sally were sitting at the end of the bar. Their conversation had looked heated and we were waiting on a table for two when they looked up and waved us over. Hugs were exchanged and when we sat down in the barstools beside them Anne took great effort to wipe away the deep red lipstick Anne had left on my cheek. The hug was pleasant. It had drug on that extra moment that signals something more. I was just beginning to settle into enjoying her warmth against me when she whispered almost silently in my ear. “You are in trouble, my friend.” She backed away and gave a look I didn’t expect. She was not staring me down like the she would the man fucking her daughter but instead smiled devilishly out of the corner of her mouth. I began to scheme a way to talk to her.

Pleasantries were exchanged and Anne and I both expressed our Jealousy at having yet again missed Bob Seeger. He is a favorite. We discussed the kids briefly and I had to look away as Marty sighed exasperatedly at the mention of his wayward daughter. Dinner was discussed. They had planned to eat at the bar. Anne, I thought overly relieved to have someone else to talk to coaxed them to eat with us and the bartender changed our request for a table for two to a table for four.

“I’m going to sneak outside before we eat.” Sally said. I felt as though she said it directly to me and I took the hint asking if she could lend me a cigarette. She sneered a bit in protest but after pulling a pack of cigarettes and a lighter she took my by the arm to lead me outside of the restaurant to where the ashtray sat in the parking lot.

She looked up at me intently before she said anything. She was accusatory but not necessarily mad. I was the child that stole cookies. I was in trouble but I wasn’t going to get sent to bed without dinner.

“He thinks you were kidding.” She said finally.

“I’m casino siteleri almost always kidding.”

“You’re a big boy. I’m not married to you. I don’t care who she is. I guess I should be mad you used my bed.”

“You’re bed?”

“I got the condom before he saw it. At least it wasn’t a used condom.” She was grinning at me.

“You sound mad.”

“Me?”

“Jealous?”

“Me?”

“Yes you.” I dared to smile back at her. Sally was not an unattractive woman. She was round where it is good to be round and firm in her legs and arms where it is good to be firm. She was also playful and although it had been a long time. A very long time since our short but furious affair I couldn’t help but feel myself interested in her again.

“It just seems unfair. It is my bed and all. I didn’t even get asked.”

“I hate to remind you but you were pretty firm about me not asking anymore.”

“I had to be. You kept asking.”

“You always said yes.” I reminded her. A car was pulling into the parking spot closest to us and she backed away from it instinctively. She was turned from me now but had backed up until she pressed against me. With my lone free hand I reached down and took her arm. I gripped it firmly and she reclined back further until she was leaned against me. I released her arm and moved my hand purposefully until I held her large soft breast in my hand.

“Don’t.” She whispered. In response I gripped it firmly pulling her back against me until I knew my cock was pressed against her ass in a way she could feel my interest.

“Tomorrow around ten.”

“We’ll get caught.”

“Maybe.”

“You just really don’t give a shit do you?”

“I think it’s the opposite.”

“David, don’t.” She broke away from me. She moved to the opposite side of the ashtray. She had finished her cigarette and she stuffed it out in the little pile of sand. “Don’t tell me you love me. Don’t tell me you care about me and want me and need me or any of that other shit you like to spout when you are in the mood. Just don’t. I know better now.”

“Sorry.” I said. I stuffed out my own cigarette. I hadn’t smoked enough of it. I now desperately wanted another one.

“No you’re not.” She said. It wasn’t as sharp or cutting as I expected it to be. It was sadder. More resigned. She was disappointed.

“Should I pick you up? Like ten?”

“No. I don’t work out there anymore. Just come to the house.” She let the door close behind her rather than hold it open for me. I gave it a moment and followed her in. I felt bad. I felt as if I had hurt her but I didn’t remember it ending that way. It had been six years. As I recalled it, she had broken it off. It had gotten serious. I understood. Next steps would have been ugly for a lot of people. Still. She seemed mad at me. The feeling persisted through dinner. Even when she smiled at me it hurt.

I felt relieved when dinner was over. Nothing more was ever said so even though I went to bed knowing it wasn’t good to see Sally the next morning, not showing would be worse than whatever I had in store for me if I showed up.

I did not sleep well. I was awake when my phone vibrated late that night. There were not many people that would send me a message at two in the morning. I let it sit for a good thirty minutes the way you would a fresh baked cake before cutting it and then, assured Anne was snorting gently beside me slipped into the bathroom canlı casino to read the message.

I couldn’t look at the picture and not make the comparison. She was the younger leaner version of her mother. The eyes though, if you took the effort to look past the naked perfection of her young body the eyes were identical. I may have been wrong but I was certain I saw the same anger in the young woman’s pale blue eyes that I had seen in her mothers earlier that night. It was funny I thought how Sally’s first words to me had been pointing out the trouble I was in. It was even more ironic because she didn’t have a clue just how bad it was.

I arrived at Sally’s house dressed for golf. I knocked on the door rather than ringing the bell. The bell was as over the top as everything in the house. It was how Marty liked it. Although it was always Marty’s house, decorated in a certain New Jersey fashion that I knew he would never get past today it was Sally’s house. She answered the door the same way she had years ago when I would slide up to see her. She stood dressed in only a long robe of lace that was allowed me to see just enough of her I needed to see more. There was no resistance with Sally. I couldn’t resist her.

“Sally Anne.” I said quietly.

“David.” She responded.

In a smooth coordinated movement that was nearly a dance I stepped inside, she closed the door and we ended up in each other’s arms, our lips pressed firmly to each other. We moved with similar fluidity backwards to the hall and down along the polished marble flooring to the ornate four post wood bed. I forced my most recent memories of the bed from my mind as I opened the robe and laid siege to what was revealed. Her large breasts filled my mouth, her round ass filled my palms, and when I finally descended to the parting between her smooth thighs I took her with a furor and tenacity my life had been lacking for almost half a decade. “Oh my sweet, David,” she cooed at me as I tasted her, teasing her with the tip of my tongue. I alternated my movements the way I knew she preferred until she was silent and again, I had to force memories out of my head for I knew if I took the moment to look up she would be biting her lip the same way the delicious little Josie had done just a week earlier. The women were too similar to be compared but I knew, all of my experience relied on the pending contrast and when she finally lifter both of her legs over my head sealing herself closed and free of my caress I heard the venomous sneer I had spent the night before recalling.

“Oh my sweet, sweet David.” She said delicately and then, just as expected. “Fuck it, David.” She leaned up onto her elbows and looked at me pleadingly. “Fuck it hard. It’s yours it always will be. Fuck it.”

There was slapping and spanking. There was pinching and groaning. She gripped my nipple between her thumb and finger until I couldn’t take it and had to reach out, pressing her head back against the bed. She was curvy but still petite and I could with my long arms wrap my fingers about her neck holding her in place as we fucked. She squealed like an animal and thrashed. Her two hands gripped around my forearm but not to pull it free. She held it in place. It was what she liked.

“Stop.” She started to pant. First just gently, but finally indignantly. “Stop. David. Stop.” It was difficult. I was close, but in her pleading I felt her resistance. Trouble she had said. And here it was.

“You kaçak casino know what I want.” She said. I could barely hear her she said it so quietly. “In my drawer. Get it. You know what I want.

I hated that it was what she wanted. I hated it because I understood it. I understood why I was there. It had always been the same reason. She didn’t want me to say I loved her or cared for her because in the end I had always known, it wasn’t about that. I knew precisely what she wanted and why. I left her to walk around the bed to the drawer and what I knew was in there. Inside were the condoms we had used when she was worried about getting pregnant and the tube of slippery clear gel we used when getting pregnant wasn’t a risk. When I pulled it from the drawer she positively growled at me. As I walked back around the bed she rolled over onto her belly and lifted her ass in the air. When I was again in position she had pulled a pillow to her face where she folded it to better muffle any sort of sound, especially a shriek. I lubed my finger and listened to her moan as I prepared her.

“Do it.” She growled at me. She always said it. Do it. Fuck it. I slid my cock into her ass and she moaned again into the pillow.

It was hard and rough because that’s the way she had wanted it. She had written me a letter describing exactly what she wanted done but never why. She had left me to figure out the why. I fucked her with every last bit of intensity I could muster before I finished inside of her. As requested I slapped her ass as hard as I could, her hope was always a red mark that faded but didn’t go away before, well, that’s obvious.

As I washed my cock in the bathroom with black lacquer sinks, faucets and even toilet I remembered why I had stop asking her. She had never been fucking me. She was fucking him. She gave me her ass because she denied him. I had never lied to her when I told her I cared for her. I had been lying to myself when I believed that for Sally Anne I was something special. I was not the love she couldn’t have. I was vengeance for not receiving the love she wanted from the one she did love.

As I got dressed she rolled over and watched me. She was horizontal in the bed rather than vertical and her head was lifted rather than hanging upside down off the end but the words were the same. “Do I get to see you again?”

“Probably.”

“This new one. Do you love her?” she asked. I smiled despite the general shittiness of the mood that had gripped me. I was in no mood to lie. I had to do enough of that these days. You never lie to your Father or to your mistress. I’m not sure where dad got that. I think it was from Rodney Dangerfield but I lived by it.

“I could but it would be silly.”

“Why her. What does she have that I don’t?” It’s the one thing every woman wants to know. Its how they look at the world.

“It’s all the same stuff, really.” As I said it I imagined the young Josie twenty-two years from now. She would look just like that. I wondered if she would be spite fucking some poor schmuck like her mother but really, what would it matter. Dementia, Arthritis, and heart disease would sure combine to see to it I didn’t need to worry but her in twenty-two years.

“Wednesday he is in Tucson. It’s an over night. You can stay over. We can make S’mores.”

“We’ll see.” I stopped myself short of telling her I was supposed to see Josie on Wednesday. Still, the proximity of those words to my tongue sent me running for the door.

It had been brief, far too brief. I drove not home but to the golf course. I could easily get a round in before I needed to be home. There is no better cover story than the truth.

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